EleKTriKAyE
...awake in denial...
I walk a tightrope...and I dare not look down...
I heard the discouraging word that despite their best efforts, and mine, the cancer I would wish away and pray away has returned. It's nobody's fault...it just is...
...and now I walk a tightrope...
As I hang precariously I find that keeping balance is not easy to do. On one side is the reality that all of us die, even young women in their early 40s. Cancer is not a respecter of persons. It can take us all...
...the young and the old...
...the rich and the poor...
...the famous and infamous...
...those that some would think deserve it...
...and those that don't...
...and me.
Denial is only foolish...
...and on the other side is faith. The kind of faith that knows miracles can and do happen. God can and does intervene. Prayers are miraculously answered. Bodies are healed. Lives are restored. Cancers are banished and vanish...
...without explanation...unpredictably...wonderfully...
...denial refuses the unseen mystery of life.
To own both realities is difficult. It is easy to embrace one and deny the other--to accept death and deny hope; to cling to faith and deny death...
...I live on a tightrope. Balance can get shaky. But I know, where I am to fall, it matters not what side I fall on. Faith always wins and I am guaranteed a soft landing...
...why?
...for underneath me are everlasting arms.
-elektrikaye
I am a web designer/engineer in Ann Arbor, Michigan who has recently undergone chemotherapy and radiation for stage IIb cervical sarcoma. Tests show that for now it has been successfully treated. Please note that my beliefs are solely my own and are not necessarily harbored by the zine here. Somewhere else here is more of my artwork, if you like what you see, email me at agape@concentric.net
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