editors note:
I'm deeply sorry (yeah right) if my views opinions and all that other crap shock, mystify, kill, make you think (you don't do that enough already), or poke you in your big fat @$$. Any reference or dream or crap that mentions anyones name may or not be true. But thank you for your stupid opinions since only mine matter.The top 15 worst cities to live in, in Michigan:
- 15: Detroit: Gangsta’s, cheap hookers, bad doctors, diseases, drug dealers, crime, poverty and more! What else can I say?
- 14: Ferndale: This Royal Oak wanna-be city will scare you. This city has enough bums (example: Ernie) that you could find 75% of the cities’ population in cardboard boxes! Not only that but the cops are selfish, ruthless, self-centered, emotionless bastards. I know that for a fact.
- 13: Roseville: The world's most dangerous weapon lives there (me). Besides that, if you don't do the "hip" thang you will surely die. This city may not look great but its probably the best to live in on this page even though there are many things wrong with it. The schools suck (I also know that for a fact), Ron's pawn shop is in it, tons of crappy liquor stores, crappy houses...(At least the cops aren't brutal and abusive)
- 12: Benton Harbor: West Michigan’s version of Detroit.
- 11: Brownsville: The Nichols farm were Mr. I'm-a-stupid-bastard McVeigh and his butt-buddy Nichols tested the bombs to use in the Oklahoma City bombing. My thing is, if you want to blow up something, blow up something that will make people love you for. Like the Roseville Junior High, Not only will the "pupils" love you but so will the teachers. Kill Mrs. Tasich while you're at it.
- 10: Cranbrook: The beautiful scenery, snobs, mansions, and everything expensive, the smart students studying under a oak tree while a mother walks with her toddler. CORNY! If the fact that everything there is more than 1 million dollars doesn’t faze you then the snobbyness will. "How much money does your father make" in Cranbrook is as common as asking "how many piercings do you have" is in Royal Oak.
- 9: Flint: Ask Mike Moore.
- 8: Mackinac Island: It's not dangerous in the winter, only in the summer when the horse poo smells worse then my dad after he mows the lawn.
- 7: Royal Oak: You will most likely have a heart attack within an hour of getting there because of some of the "clothing" they wear. I personally think some of the girls just use a silk wash cloth as a skirt. Although this place is pimp I wouldn't recommend it for a number of people. People who: are pregnant, are on a date, are faint hearted or any religious people.
- 6: Southfield: Home of red-lining.
- 5: Birmingam: The prices suck and something for $100 would cost $5 at K-mart.
- 4: Berkley: Home of the stupid KKK.
- 3: Harrison Township: Home of the ugliest, most evil, meanest, alien, witch, warlock babysitter alive. She really gives the poor kids anal probes and makes them eat dog doo (Once again…I should know...i was "one of them").
- 2: Port Huron: Bad people live there
- 1: Pleasant Ridge: Drunk cops (actual quote) "How can I ticket drunks when I am one"----the Sargeant
- 0: Beverly Hills: Michigan version of the Beverly Hillbillys
by: Letit rip
The secret life of a teen
by T. Boz
I have recently found a teen who is considered bad. This is what she had to say.
Boz: Hello Jesse. I have a few questions. Would you mind answering?
Jesse: Sure, Why not.
B: Do people consider you a bad kid?
J: yes.
B: How old are you?
J: 13.
B: Why do people consider you a bad kid?
J: I guess because of my actions and my friends.
B: Why and when did you start?
J: Probably in 6th grade. I was always unpopular and just started having a few friends. It was a dream come true. My friend Sasha had smoked and I never really thought about it. I smoked for the first time trying to rebel kinda.
B: When did most of the problems start?
J: This year. My mom got married, I had a lot of friends and I got pissed.
B: What was the first sign of the new you?
J: I used to have good grades and was always on the honor roll. My grades began to fall, I made friends from the wrong crowd, I began talking back to everybody. I began to not care about adults and only kids.
B: What was the first real statement you made?
J: I got kicked out of a skating arena for smoking. A few months later, I got in a fist fight with my mom.
B: What else has happened since then?
J: I moved in with my dad, got in a big fight with him, I moved back in with my mom, I got suspended for insubordination, and I just got in a fight with my dad.
B: Anything involving cops?
J: Yes. At least 5.
B: What is the scariest experience you've had?
J: A cop got really violent and threatened me.
B: Do you think you'll change?
J: When I'm way older.
B: Did you ever regret anything?
J: Yes. Most of it.
B: Thanks for your time.
J: No problem.
Fashion by Alexia Dyslexia
Hello all you Fashion slaves. This is what I see is popular on the streets.
If you are a trendy girl you should always wear:
- Wide-leg blue jeans
- A kinda short name brand shirt
- A belly button ring
- earrings
- a silver necklace (If it belongs to a guy even better)
- a silver bracelet and watch
- rings
- some kinda of novelty socks
- Nike or Adidas shoes
If you are going for the gangsta look:
- baggy pants
- a baggy name brand shirt
- many piercings
- a pager
- Nike or adidas shoes
- brightly coloured hair
- too much silver
If you want the I'm a slut look:
- A short short barely there skirt
- fishnet tights or tights with holes
- Tall high heels or leather boots
- A very small shirt
If you like the I'm a goth wannabe
- A long black skirt or dress
- a long tight shirt
- black hair
- black nails
- black lipstick
- piercings
- a cloak
- tall black boots
And next week I'll do guys fashion
----by Tori rectum
The seventies and my mom
by: Pina ColadaMy mother is the perfect example of the hip girl in the 70’s. Her spoon ring, her mood rings, her beegee’s records, serve as a reminder of her high school years. Many people think that the seventies were the hippie times. The late sixties were. My mom, who is now in her 30’s was too young to participate in the peace generation. My mom, although beautiful was considered odd until she was 16. Her mother made her wear "cat eye glasses" and she was very shy. In her teens and early twenty’s the pictures I see show her wearing levi jeans, the flare at the bottom but are tight at the top, that drag on the ground. Her shoes, red, converse all stars are barely visible. Along with levis she wore tube tops, and terry cloth outfits. Although my mom may not of been considered "in" she was still beautiful. She will always be.
Piercings:
by Ima HolyYou know what bugs me? When teenagers say they got eyebrow piercings because they wanted to be different and hate that they became trendy when the reason they got it done was because they wanted to be trendy. I’m 33 and I have many parts of me pierced. I have my tongue pierced twice, both of my eyebrows done twice, my ears have a total of 12 piercing, both my nipples done, 4 bars in my navel and many other piercing I should not mention. I have only had one infection but it cleared up.
Although I’d hate the thought of everyone getting everything pierced, I’ll give you some hints. The most common piercing is the ear. It feels not much worse then a pinch although it tingles for awhile after. If you get your ear(s) pierced then this is what you should do. after you get it done, you SHOULD get a special ear care mixture in a bottle. If not, you can buy some at Claire’s or a place like it. If you can’t buy the special mixture or run out, then you can use hydrogen peroxide for a while. Twice a day, rub your new piercing with the mixture and rotate it 100%. Do not take it out.
If you have any questions, comments, complaints, or wanna be in the fashion police then email me at Jewlicat@yahoo.com.
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